So I was watching United States of Tara yesterday and it's the episode where Tara's daughter dresses up in the princess costume to get e-nerds off online and in return they buy her shit. Well she runs into this guy and he doesn't want to watch her sit on cake or any of that freaky shit, he just wants to talk to her. And she starts going on about how much she hates her life. And he goes "Well...shoot yourself and walk away" meaning, change yourself and try something new. And this reminded me of something my old crazy bitch room mate used to say allllll the time when we were living together "If you don't like something, change it. And if you can't change it, change your attitude."
These pretty much got me thinking. I've spent WAY too much fucking time pissed over things that I have no control over. I don't have control over whether or not my cousin wants to switch states and become a stripper or however this chick wants easy money. I can't control whether or not someone loves me. I definitely cannot raise my great-grandmother from the dead. But I can change how much these things effect me and how I plan to deal with them. Really though, my days of laying in bed doing jack shit with my life are done. Not eating, that's done. Using drugs and alcohol as a crutch, done. [although I'm still going to use drugs and alcohol, that shit is fun] I'm just going to focus on me and making my life better. I've focused too much on other people. I don't want to become a loner or anything, I just want to make a new life and change my attitude. I just want to be a free spirit.
If I could do anything with my life without limitations I would travel the world. Hit up every country. I would love to touch land on every continent, even though Antarctica doesn't sound to appealing aside from penguins. But I can't do that, well not right now anyway. But that doesn't mean I still can't explore.
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go explore! there is a lot hidden in san diego and its people
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